Saturday, 3 March 2012

A Dictionary Of Quotations - ACTUARY


Karpansky, L.
High School Education

Someone once asked an accountant, a mathematician, an engineer, a
statistician and an actuary how much 2 plus 2 was. The accountant
said "4". The mathematician said "It all depends on your number base."
The engineer took out his slide-rule and said "approximately 3.99". The
statistician consulted his tables and said, "I am 95% confident that it lies
between 3.95 and 4.05." The actuary said "What do you want it to add  up to?" 


Actuaries are funny people. Even when they are wrong, they are right.
I told an actuary to go to the back of the queue. He immediately came
back and said that he couldn't-there was already someone there.



An insurance company is like an automobile going down the road at high
speed. The managing director has his hands on the wheel, the marketing
director has his foot on the accelerator. The finance director is heaving
with all his might on the hand-brake and the actuary is in the back
screaming directions from a map he has just made by looking out of the
rear window. 


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